...reviewing Wall of Death: Way of Life

at the SECC, Glasgow, February 2010


When I was an extra at the Tron Theatre last month, to kill time between takes, I looked through the leaflets on display. Along with the usual 'see this' and 'go there' rectangular bits of glossy paper, there was a pile of matt, round cards.

These circular objects where promoting a new show with a black and white image of a boy on a motorbike at a near horizontal angle. And with Wall of Death in big capitals on the card's diameter, I instantly knew I wanted to see it.

The song covered by REM started going round in my mind:
          "You can waste your time on the other rides
           But this is the nearest to being alive
           Let me take my chances on the Wall of Death"

It seemed fitting, then, to here this song in the show. I say a show, I mean a convoluted cross between a gallery opening with nervous speeches and Q & A, and a wax-work-like walk through.

You enter hall 1 of the SECC after you're told to go to hall 2 as you collect your tickets.
You then wait and ushers wearing red Wall of Death T-shirts, which give the impression of slick rock-band like informality and cool, hand out postcards and pens for your question for Ken Fox and Co.
Err, I wasn't expecting this, think, what do you ask? Actually, what are we expecting from this thing?

SL and I had a card each, we came up with some non-sense about can you be too old to learn? We did also think of, 'if your children became seriously injured from this, err, sport, would you blame yourself?' A bit heavy or just out and out mean-spirited, we stuck with the age thing and I keep my card as a memento. I did toy with, can you do it with animals but I couldn't word it in a way that sounded appropriate for the many kids that were also in the audience. Plus, I like mementos.

We then were escorted into the next bit, another part of the black curtained hall 1. "stand along to the red rope on the ground" said a disembodied voice. As we all went forward, the red t-shirted brigade took our questions for Ken's lot. At the rope stood a man with grey Elvis-esque hair, a leather bikers jacket atop of a white shirt and black tie and trouser combo. He nervously began to talk into the mic;
         "When I was 13 or so, I read a comic about a stunt rider who performed on a Wall of Death, I want to grow up and do this for myself one day, you ride like no other at speed and without fear...." etc, etc, etc.

Yes, well who wouldn't, it looks cool! Plus motorbike, hell, you're Brando!

But how many of us get to fulfil their dreams from childhood, you're still a child at 13 these days, right?
He, Stephen Skrynka, the artist and now, hell rider, did.
As he continued with the laboured introduction, we, the audience could see a fairground stall, circular and colourful behind him. It was covered in bright lights and gramophone horns with small models too. As we eventually 'stepped this way' towards it all, the t-shirted bodies passed us A4 sized posters with old fashioned fonted words, it was a bill of the events of the day; Zoetropes for the modern eye, Wall of Death Hell riders, an experience, a way of life the sheet acclaimed.

The zoetropes where filmed live my cameras, and fed to screens above, so that more of us could see the magic. Are the cameras the modern eye, or are we? What can be gleamed, however, is the beauty of Skrynka's work, all inspired by the with we'll see soon; The wall itself and the stunts performed on it. The music played on horned gramophones with where in-between the zoetropes, which were themselves on old gramophone turntables. The audience took turns to turn and spin the models for others to see. If I'd been listening at the start, I would have heard Skrynka say that these are just glue, wood, plasticine and paper, it's OK for them to get damaged, if only by accident.

After about 10 minutes of the zoetropes and Skrynka running between them, changing the 'discs' like a man spining many plates at a talent night, we more to the next black curtained part.

Attacked by many full height and full width screen on with images where projected of practice on the wall by Stephen and Ken. The speakers shouted out the noises of the un-silenced exhausts of their bikes. A talking head of Ken explaining his choice of lifestyle and the qualities needed for it.

We then move round the giand dark object that sits almost unseen in the middle.
Then a part opens and the projected screens black out.
"Come right up, come right up, and welcome!" said a voice fit for darts commentary. This heralded the start of the Q & A but also the much needed introduction to the riders themselves. At last, maybe this is where the show will start. No, this is a quiet family who don't do that much public talking but do ride a mean wall. Ken Fox has the last Wall of Death in Europe and there are only a couple or so other working examples left in the world. He, between answering many pointlessly asked questions, explains why this was his calling and why no-one else wants to do it anymore. He also answered my unasked one about animals or pets on the wall. Apparently, some people did it with lions in the side car. No dogs mind.

Now, with that all wrapped up, finally, we ascend the stairs to the high level platform on top of the wall itself. Deafened by the bikes in real life, as aposed to video of them, we smell the oil the original round postcard told me about. The atmosphere starts to intensify, the expectation rises as we see the three men (one, Alex being only 15) and the only girl in the world Hell Rider as they take to their machines......
           "It's like at the start of a grand prix, but you're right there, in the thick of it!"


So, as I sip my 4th decaffeinated Earl Grey of the day, I can look back and say, yes, after all lthat padding and guff, the wall, sorry, The Wall, was well worth it. Those Zoetropes too.

I can see what it was all about now. I can see what Stephen was trying to say;

Wall of death: a Way of Life

I going to see it again, before it leaves Glasgow, you should too

...telling you I'll catch up

Really, whilst S L is revising like a trooper, I'll fill you all in (all 2 of you) on what's been happening in what feels like the shortest of the year. December's definitely the quickest. Am I right, am I right, ladies and gentlemen?

...busy, too busy to blog

....I'll tell you all about it as soon as I can

...going into town...

...when I say going into, I really mean gone already.

It was just a quick in and out but I did go via the Lighthouse and Borders in the Merchant's Square, you know, next to GOMA.

The Lighthouse went under recently. It was a real shame that the premier legacy from the 1990 City of Culture was in such peril.
As I took the chance and walked up the alley to the entrance, I was wondering how the foyer would look without any lighting and only brightness coming from the skylight, 4 storeys up.
It wasn't to be, the Lighthouse was open. Yes, only half lit by bulbs but there was a couple of people sitting at reception in the dull gloom. As I asked about the situation, I noticed just how cold it was in there. Dark and cold, this is a tourist's must see. Also it is now without a classy restaurant, coffee shop and the money making merchandise and habitat like store. In fact, as the receptionist relayed the exhibition info, I noticed how there was only a handful of books on display. They're free BTW, yep, free. Also, I am under the impression  the Lighthouse is now free to get into too. Thanks to the City Council's help out until March 2010, the place is on half on mode; a shadow of it's former light, brightness.

So go. Go there, bring the numbers up, show that people of Glasgow appreciate the finer things. Make the council see that it is worth bringing back to full beam because as it stands, come March, it's for sale. There's also the ability to change the building use and design. Come March, it really could be the end, end. Once they change it, there's no undo button, there's no more design museum in Glasgow. The only 1990 City of Culture reminder of how Glasgow started to get away from it's stab you now, stab you later image will go.


Borders is also closing down, where will everyone go it read heat magazine for free?

Yet Hamley's has opened a new flagship store down the road at the St Enoch's Centre (of all places?)

Maybe it more a sign of books don't sell but crystal-encrusted-model-cars do?

...thanking everyone who remembered my birthday...

...really, thank you to everyone who sent messages to my facebook and via other means.

I was really chuffed with the amount of people that wrote to me.

This really meant quite a bit for two reasons; firstly, I hardly remember anyone elses birthday. Secondly, I don't go out that much, or meet up with people regularly. So to be remembered, yay me.

Also, thank you all for accepting my age. I've pretended to be 5 years older than I really was for far too long, so taking those 5 years off without a negative outcry was great.
My sister and I really are twins. I was just really bright so I went to school early, I was only one year(s) old when everyone else was 5 or 6.
It was Hailsham!

Thank you all again, yay you

...impressed with Comet's customer service...

...no, really. Seriously.

I'm not too sure why, but my nan and aunty really don't like Comet, the electrical store. I think it was based on a bad experience when a fridge or microwave or kettle blew up after a day.

I'm all for family solidarity and brand snubbing but their prices on some things are just too good to be all 'sod them and their crappy customer service' especially because my eyes are larger than my wallet.

The item I'm after is a Sony netbook, a vpc w11 s1e in white. It's the normal netbook fare, review straight after this post. At Comet, the white one is £279.99 with free delivery or pick-up instore. Normally, this little 'puter come's in at £349.99 and in some places, the SonyStore & SonyStyle.co.uk it's at £365.99.

So come on, it's a brilliant price right?
Yes it is, and to show it is, the ultra cool brown version at Comet is a web only £339.99, so the macbookpro-esque white will more than do.

The catch...
well, when I got it home, plugged it in and got going, nothing, well, nothing big. The normal cycle of software updates and restarts. But once that was all done, nothing...

...then I pulled the plug. Instant death. But it's been on charge for ages!
No it hasn't, there's no battery. Rummage around the tiny box, nope, nothing there.
Shit.
In the box however, I did find a picture of the battery on a Sony leaflet labelled accessories. Hmm, maybe it doesn't come with one. No, that'll be stupid...

So, off to Comet again, let's kick some arse/ass.

'was it sealed sir?'
'Sony weigh the boxes before they leave the factory, to see that there's nothing missing'
'are you sure you haven't lost it sir?'
oh, this isn't going well. It's like making a pact with the school bully and then asking him/her for your share of the dinner money. Or like how in 10 years time when the UK asks the US for it's half of Iraq's oil. You know you shouldn't have done the deal, but the price looked so good.
'well, you'll have to come back tomorrow, the manager's not in today.'
'are you sure you haven't lost it down the sofa?'
'the box would 'ave been sealed you know'
yes thanks for that mate. hmm, so Comet really are crap.

Next day, popped back in just before rush hour. Luckily Comet's about 5 minutes away.
I was like this to them: 'can I speak to the manager, it's about my computer not having a battery!'
They were like this to me: 'ok, I'll just get her.'
Right, I thought, let the battle commence...
The manager came out and was like this: 'would a new battery be ok?'
'errr, yeah, that'll be fine.'
'could someone get this customer a new battery from either another Sony or from the display's box...
...would that be ok sir?'
'no, that'll be brilliant, thanks, yeah' what an idiot I thought, 'no, err, yeah?' what am I 13 again.

So in summary, stand up straight, dress smart, feel confident and be ready to shout. Then, be polite but stand your ground. They'll be all shit because they either don't really care or they're just flushing out the chancers. If you have to come back, fine, but be ready to not go away again; clear your diary.
Then, from your kick arse/ass persona, they'll not mess with you.

Either that or ask to see the manager the first time round. And to think, for a second, I thought netbook's didn't come with batteries, what a clot!

...sure there's more...

...no, not this week.

It's ok to have a completely mundane week.
Hell, I'm sure that most people suffer at the hands of mundaneness
I guess I'm lucky that this to do list is not the be all and end all of my day, or week.
Far from it.
What I have to do is to is make sure that I get some quality writing time this week, to not get too distracted with the housewife stuff.
Also, if the weather improves, continue to shoot the French Project, if it doesn't, take photos of any flooding left over. Although thinking about it, the rain's eased off enough for the water to go away but not enough to film.
Maybe just write this week.

(oh, go to comet for a battery pack)

...using this as a to do list...

...as I can't find my scrap of paper, the one with all things I forgotten to do on it.

all to be done this week, over the week:

• tidy away all the stuff on the breakfast table
• polish the table and rotate the chairs from the sun
• clear my desk, the drawing desk, not just the computer one this time
• do left over laundry from the weekend
• go food shopping; get things for SL's lunch
• clear the coffee table and find a place for blockbusters
• water all the house plants
• spilatify the sittingroom, also rearrange the plugs in the hall too
• take the things & clothes to the charity shop
• change the bedsheets
• get a repeat antihistamine prescription
• send in or drop off the UKTS cheque
• I'm sure there's much, much more
  

...still coming out as an actor. Really, you?

Still

Re: second part of coming-out-as-actor-really-you, I've sadly not been as resilient as I thought I was.
I didn't really think I was anyway, but I thought I was getting there.

Last Friday was the RSAMD drama openday and I found out that the course I wanted to do there starts in October 2010, not February.
Now, it's only time but I thought I was fixed and was ready to start now.
October is nearly a whole year away, and because I'm only 'well' for short periods, I thought that come then, I might not be in the same condition.
Then, today, I realised that if I'm still thinking that way, and the fact that this week, I've been really flat, I'm not as ready as I thought.

So, as my facebook fortune cookie said; 'when one door closes, many more open.....

.....SL found me a couple of other, shorter courses that start sooner for me to try.
I really want to be an actor, but I've got to be 'together' to be successful. One of the courses she found starts in February, so, as a date in my mind, it gives me a few months to focus. And what's better, it's not the be all and end all if I'm not ready, mentally. Because it's not the big one I was planning on. It a bonus thing. Well, that's if it's a real course that is.
Yes, it is. And it's still in Glasgow, so even better.

Now, this post might need re-writing because I'm not thinking clearly, well, I'm thinking too quickly for my two finger typing, but I'll do it later....

....I'm trying to get better.

...continuing to work on the "French Project"

As I sit here and type, listening to Aimee Mann and Spotify ads, Glasgow has been blessed with sunny breaks in the rain clouds.

The "French Project" was always going to set in Glasgow, The work done on the Beachy Head ascent and in and around Eastbourne was just hardware testing and a bit of fun: (see http://drivingkolo.blogspot.com/2009/10/switchbacks-of-beachy-head.html )

Glasgow is what it was always about.

Now it wasn't just "C'etait un rendez vous" that has influenced me into starting this project. The way the streets of San Francisco are shot in "Bullitt"; the hilly terrain, the shops, people and houses are as much a part of the 'best ever car chase' as the actors and the Charger & Mustang. If anything, the chase would not be as well regarded as it is without the cityscape at the start of it. Another trigger for me was San Francisco 9 or 10 years before Steve Mcqueen's version of the city was shot; Hitchcock's more sedate and more gentrified San Francisco in "Vertigo". At the start of "Bullitt", post credits and after Lalo's theme dies down, a taxi pulls up at a very distinctive hotel perched in a hilltop at a busy cross-roads. This hotel was used as a very spanky block of apartments in Hitchcock's film. The traffic was almost non existent in the earlier version. I'm not going to go into the debate about how landmarks are used or how productions alter places to there own ends, well not now. I'm merely saying that it is interesting how you can dress up or down a place to meet your own ends. It can be a backdrop as a curtain is a backdrop of a stage production, or the city can be an integral part of the piece. Now San Francisco is more of a feature in films than say, LA (Dirty Harry verses Heat for example), because it has a number of older landmarks and set pieces. LA is a modern urban sprawl, a giant of corporate towers and business suits with a theme-park in the middle (Hollywood).

Glasgow, like San Francisco, has a grid of streets, distinct residential and city centre business districts. Glasgow also shares a blessing of historic landmarks and urban set pieces.

Glasgow has also suffered from a real negative image. It's either thought of as a drug addled of it's former Victorian masterpiece, or it's just thought of as the deep fried fat man of Europe; the collective heart-attack waiting to happen. The Scottish Tourist board has yet to fully reverse this, the way Edinburgh has. Remember Edinburgh has it's fair share of blight but the capital comes first in Scotland's strive for a modern, positive identity. I'm not saying I'm going to change all that with this, far from it. I can imagine it'll be used in a powerpoint at the highways department, showing the one-way gridlocked chaos of the city centre. What I think will happen though, is non Glaswegians, non Scots, will see a busy, lively city from the view of a car travelling from Westend to Dennistoun in the Eastend.

What I have noticed, youtubing about, is that Glasgow has yet to feature in a copy version of Claude Lelouche's seminal work. As yet, I've not realised why.

Today, I might just find out....

...explaining the "French Project"

Yes, the French Project, hmm

Well, fans of Snow Patrol may have seen the video to Open Your Eyes, this was in fact Claude Lelouche's film "C'etait un rendez vous".

This 8 or so minutes has become a seminal piece of film.

Shot in 1976 on a camera mounted to a custom made jig on the front of a Mercedes 450SEL, then dubbed over with the engine noise of a V12 Ferrari. Set in Paris, at 4 in the morning, it is a race to meet a date at a famous park in the city.

What makes the film interesting, as a piece of film making, as appose to film viewing, is the reason it is 8 minutes 46 seconds. This is the length 35mm film came in. This was restricted by the technology of the time and the director; Lelouche's want to make the hole thing in one continuous take. No post editing. No second camera cutaways. No roping off of streets or altering of the city. This is Paris, this is his drive, this is Claude racing to make it for a date.

Now, you may cry wolf, or cry foul at this point because of one major move Lelouche has made to make this work; who has a date at 4am? Yes, yes, it is a large point to concede. But well, I don't have any real answer but this, 8 minutes behind a 2CV, and or, it's the 70's, maybe she, and he, are complete slags. Maybe it's when her father left for work as an airport employee and thus be able to sneak out the house to see her older lover. Maybe she's a nurse and has just finished a shift treating syfalific old men in a private hospital. Whatever one helps you appease that nag in your head.

Anyway, I present Claude Lelouche's "C'etait un rendez vous", enjoy.

...coming out as an actor. Really, you? (continued)

Part 2

I guess that thing I had about saying I was an actor (as in, I want to be) was initially thought to be the comedian thing I said.
You know:

steve:: "hi bob."
bob:: "oh, hi, steve, what do you do these days?"
steve:: "yeah, I'm err, a err, comedian!"
bob:: "WTF, you, really, but you're.....
.....err, make me laugh, go on!"
steve:: "oh, I'm not that sort of comedian."
bob:: "you're shit!
....go on, fuck off. Comedian, my fucking arse he's a comedian. He's got the personality of a slapped arse."

So, you can see why I didn't want to say anything.

I guess, moving ever so slightly on from this initial hesitancy, I guess I was thinking, oh, actor, err, you have to have the most electric personality; the life and soul of the party; the big noise; the big potato: the mouth, etc.
Yes, I guess that's what I thought; the self-promoting all singing, all dancing extrovert.

I'm not the stops traffic kind of guy. I'm 5' 10" when I actually stand up straight, yes I have a pretty face, but it's not that pretty. Also, I look 15 still. I never get asked my opinion by those clip-boarders in town. I'm a perfect pick-pocket. I can get away with not being there. Very forgettable.

So, the all singing, all dancing Mr Extrovert v Mr Cellophane.
See the thing is this: I can be the all sing all dancing extrovert. I have been, on many occasions but only when certain things are in place. I have to be on top of an internal wave, the occasion has to have 5 or less people there, preferably less (hopefully with no positive or completely no experience of me before) and the moon has to be in it's third cycle and a bat has to be killed by a loft insulator less than 3 miles from where this occasion is to be held. In other words, things have to be perfect for me to operate as Mr Extrovert. Mr Extrovert is incredibly fragile. He's normally wrapped up by Mr Cellophane.

Now, as I've alluded to in today's earlier posting, for 16* years I've been too fragile, too much like Jenson Button; as in, everything has to work perfectly to achieve anything close to full potential. Not robust enough. Great skill to do anything he wants in life, but as yet, hasn't made any mark.
Well no more. I'm going to be less fragile, more stable and definitely more robust.
I have to be it's now a career skill set. It's a life skill set!

Anyway, yes, so, right, more decisive. More err, you know; to the point.

No more Cellophane

(also, RSAMD are having an open day on Friday for 2010's intake. Plus getting back to extra-ing soon too)

...starting to get the point of blogs...

...no, not at all.

No, well, I get that you don't have to follow me (my blog) to read it, so I'm slowly realising that I'm not the only one reading it. Also, I'm getting that this is a nice way to carry on conversions I've had with others about things and 'what I'm doing with my ever shortening life'.

Anyway.

So yeah, Ive told too many people now that I want to act. Yes a few have raised eyebrows and looked at me like I've just told them I've become a Tory candidate but I'm going to do it.

You understand it's more than the fame, right?
It's all about the money. Like a less invasive version of prostitution.
No, it's not about the fortunes that Brad and the Clooney have, well a bit, no, it's more just an ability to earn the most out of my limited skills set.

No, it's not that bleak, really, not completely.
I want to act because I still don't really know how to live in and use my body, face and voice.
It's also the fact that I've not been firing on all cylinders for the past 16* years now and have only just started, in the last 2, to get back to a real sense of myself and my full potential.
I want to really enjoy crafting myself into characters and situations where my potential can be seen. I'm not going to completely give up on Architecture, but I do want to chase something that pushes the daydreamer in me.
I already imagine I play professional football (knowing that I'm not that good at it)
I know I'm something for a fall (you know, that saying) but it's what I wanted to do, 16* years ago, and was quite good then.

The way I see it, I've not really lived fully for about 16* years. Yes I've gotten older, learnt things (not grammar) and have been physically there but as S L would say, I've been missing.
At times I've been at full, err, power? but it's not been sustained or without lots of caffeine and prescription medication. At the moment, I've cut the reliance on caffeine, hence the ability to sleep 23 hours a day, but I'm finally getting the right treatment to help me out of this 16* year lull.




(* is an estimation from a report by some doctor who asked me questions one time when things were very dark.)