...starting to get the point of blogs...

...no, not at all.

No, well, I get that you don't have to follow me (my blog) to read it, so I'm slowly realising that I'm not the only one reading it. Also, I'm getting that this is a nice way to carry on conversions I've had with others about things and 'what I'm doing with my ever shortening life'.

Anyway.

So yeah, Ive told too many people now that I want to act. Yes a few have raised eyebrows and looked at me like I've just told them I've become a Tory candidate but I'm going to do it.

You understand it's more than the fame, right?
It's all about the money. Like a less invasive version of prostitution.
No, it's not about the fortunes that Brad and the Clooney have, well a bit, no, it's more just an ability to earn the most out of my limited skills set.

No, it's not that bleak, really, not completely.
I want to act because I still don't really know how to live in and use my body, face and voice.
It's also the fact that I've not been firing on all cylinders for the past 16* years now and have only just started, in the last 2, to get back to a real sense of myself and my full potential.
I want to really enjoy crafting myself into characters and situations where my potential can be seen. I'm not going to completely give up on Architecture, but I do want to chase something that pushes the daydreamer in me.
I already imagine I play professional football (knowing that I'm not that good at it)
I know I'm something for a fall (you know, that saying) but it's what I wanted to do, 16* years ago, and was quite good then.

The way I see it, I've not really lived fully for about 16* years. Yes I've gotten older, learnt things (not grammar) and have been physically there but as S L would say, I've been missing.
At times I've been at full, err, power? but it's not been sustained or without lots of caffeine and prescription medication. At the moment, I've cut the reliance on caffeine, hence the ability to sleep 23 hours a day, but I'm finally getting the right treatment to help me out of this 16* year lull.




(* is an estimation from a report by some doctor who asked me questions one time when things were very dark.)